My Plans to Make Everything MASSIVE!

I was at a conference the other day when I saw a projector. It was only a few inches across, so small that I stood there for a few moments and awkwardly stared at it. I continued awkwardly staring as the man who was in charge of the booth came and explained what they did, which had nothing to do with projectors, unfortunately. But walking away from that, I have come to the realization that there is a trend making all electronics smaller. Projectors are tiny, cell phones fall through your fingers, televisions are huge, but also razor thin. These things called iPads will be broken if you drop it too hard once, and as for the Macbook Air...I have to squint to see it. 

After comparing this trend to clothing trends, I have noticed that all trends come back. So I have a preparation plan to become the new trend-setter. Clearly the new trend will be huge electronics. So I have some ideas. First I will make a cell phone the size of a refrigerator. It will be on wheels, so transportation will be no problem. Also, the days of losing your cell phone will be over for good. Definitely one of my better ideas.

Next I will bring back a computer that takes up a whole room. It will double as a heating system for the room in the winter, thereby killing two birds with one stone. The keyboard will be large enough that one must dance on it to type. I'm convinced that dance-typing will become all the rage, and it will be common for secretaries to be panting as they answer the phone due to the exertion from dance-typing ninety words per minute. This technology will be akin to Dance Dance Revolution, except that you can play at work and no one will be mad at you.

I have more ideas, but your brain is probably on mental overload already with how much of a genius I am. Be sure to join us next time as I explain the new trend of your dog walking you backwards!