If I Were King

Ever wonder what you could do if you were in charge of everything? Well, if I could, here's a very small portion of things on my list, in no particular order:

• Add bacon to In N' Out Burgers. Seriously, this is long overdue.
• End world hunger with previously mentioned burgers. It's the obvious solution.
• TWIRP week or some sort of Sadie's would continue to happen after college. But only for one week a year. One week is fun, but us guys still need to know how to sack up and ask a girl out!
• Lady Gaga would wear normal clothes and be a normal person. She could also use her unused meat dress to help with the world hunger issue.
• People would learn to get along with people different from themselves and see that we can learn a ton from each other if we just admit we don't have it all figured out!
• Everyone would have my strange ability to be highly energetic with only four or five hours of sleep a night. I feel bad that I can't give away some of my excess energy!
• Personalized phone calls from a favorite celebrity. I know I'd be up on time if Chuck Norris was on the line downstairs!
• Stop being so afraid to be different! Also, hipsters, please realize that the real hipsters have already moved on to new trends that are not yet trendy. Your style is trendy, though cute, and everyone is doing it. Admittedly, I bought a pair of hipster glasses.
• Don't judge people by what they've done or what they're doing, love them for who they are. God loves prostitutes, students, terrorists, pastors, and probably even aliens if they exist. I want to love with the same love God loves with!

These are just a few things I would love to see take place in the world. Anyone else got anything?