Girls: A Brief Trail Guide as to my Thoughts on the Mysterious Species

"Freaking girls, man!" I don't know how many times I've used that phrase in my life. I do know it's probably more than the phrase, "Yes, I'd love to do your dishes for you!" or even, "Where is that stupid phone?" Girls have been the cause of so much frustration, fun, and all kinds of emotions. I love girls. Some of them love me. There's been good times, there's been bad. All right, I think I have enough for an intro paragraph. Let's dive into the meat.

I grew up in a conservative Christian home. My parents never urged me to date. Heck, they still don't, and I'm 23! I'm not sure when they think I'll be old enough; I'm not sure I ever will be! :P But I know the philosophy on girls I was surrounded by growing up. Here's a few of the major tenets:

• Girls deserve respect.
• If a girl has any sort of curves, they should be fully covered up. Modesty is more important than fashion.
• One should only date a girl one intends to marry. Because there is clearly no other reason to be dating.
• Pornography and masturbation are terrible sins.
• You should save sex for marriage. And petting. Probably kissing too. And just to be safe, let's throw in hand-holding, because that's a pretty serious commitment. 

At the same time, I was surrounded by our culture and media, and their ever-present messages, like these:

• Girls should have the right to do whatever they want.
• Girls should wear the sexiest clothes possible in order to draw the most guys to them. 
• You should be free to date whoever you want. As much as you want. Have fun while you're young.
• Pornography and masturbation are as normal as eating and sleeping.
• Saving sex for marriage makes you a virgin. And if you're a virgin, there must be something wrong with you. You better not let that secret out at a party!

I don't know if you noticed, but those are polar opposites. And neither sounds all that great. The first option strips all the fun out of life. It turns anything sexual into a taboo, and suddenly marriage becomes not a way to spend your life with someone you love, but a way to skirt the rules and have sex. This option creates massive guilt in anyone who doesn't follow its rules.

But the second option is no better. It makes everything as pointless as a trip to Las Vegas with no money. Once you go all the way, you may as well do it again. And again. And somewhere along that road, it isn't special at all anymore. Marriage becomes a recipe for divorce, since we're always looking for someone better and don't know how to stick with one woman/man. 

Like many things in life, I believe this calls for a middle ground. And no, I don't think there's a clear cut line. The whole "shorts to your fingertips" rule for girls I was around in school? Ridiculous. Not only because to some that may still be scandalous and to others a bore, but because all it really does is make those same girls wear the shortest shorts they can find when the rules aren't enforced.

(Disclaimer: All my examples on clothing restrictions are based on girls, since the conservative community has absolutely no rules for guys. I was ok with that, but I always felt bad that the girls had all these silly rules. Sorry ladies!)

So where does one end up? Both sides end up looking very bleak if one is to take each by itself. I think everyone will make their own decisions on that. But I'm going to share the decisions I've come to. Not because I think you should make the same ones, but because I think it might help you to make your own. I think the worst thing you can do is to blindly follow those around you, whether they're telling you to keep six inches from the opposite sex or telling you to have sex every weekend. So without further ado, here's some of my standards:

• Women definitely deserve respect. From men, and also from themselves. I will open up doors for women and small motions like that solely as a sign of respect.
• I will wear whatever I want. I'm ok with girls wearing whatever they want. But there is a balance. As a guy, I definitely enjoy it when girls are a little less than fully dressed. I may stare at a girl when she's dressing for attention. But I really pay attention and want to know a girl when her clothing is stylish and still somewhat modest. Remember, wearing a burqa is fine, but it's rather pointless when everyone else around you is wearing bikinis. It also looks really hot.
• Save something for later. I'm not going to not spend time with girls, but I also have very clear standards on how far I will go. I may not always communicate those standards when I first meet a girl, since that would be pretty high on the weird-meter, and I'm a kinda weird guy already, but the standards are there. 
• Pornography and masturbation? Gosh, I'm not going to do all your homework for you. Check out your Bible. If you're not a Christian and don't follow the Bible, then I'm not going to make you do what the Bible says, but I would love to tell you about my good friend Jesus sometime.

Anyways, these are just some thoughts I've been having. Whenever you see me, you don't know that my brain is always going a million miles an hour. I could write a book with my thoughts, but I don't think anyone would buy it. Anyways, there it is. Feel free to stop in next time for my thoughts on aliens. Just kidding...the imminent zombie apocalypse is far more interesting!

Google's Big Dilemma

This one will be short and sweet. Google just came out with Google Keep, a product for taking notes. I love trying new Google products and was about to transfer over from my current notes app, when I remembered Google Reader. Google has no motivation to keep services going for us. So I refuse to trust them with even more of my personal information. If I'm the only one thinking this, no big deal for Google. But if this is a common sentiment, this could mean big trouble for future Google Products!

Catching Up

A lot has happened since I've last posted. My life is rather a whirlwind of insanity. That's kind of the way I like it though, so no complaints here. In the past month I have:

• Moved into a new apartment in Anaheim with two roommates who I had never met before. Fortunately it's working out really good!

An astoundingly low-resolution photo of my incredible bedroom

• Lost my full-time job teaching out in Palm Desert and began looking for new work.
• Discovered my love for building furniture and IKEA after buying IKEA furniture and putting it together to fill my empty bedroom. 
• Picked up a second part-time job doing some tutoring for high school and college students. Not a lot of hours or pay, just a little something extra. 
• Applied for another medical study over the next couple weeks, got into it, and hopefully I make it all the way through. That would give me a good amount of cash!
• Began to cook and have a kitchen. I can cook!!
• Brushed up on my Spanish skills. I went from "un poco Espanol" to "un poco bien."
• Going to multiple free concerts and shows and such! This month I should be seeing B.O.B., Wicked, and any number of smaller acts.

So that's a small update on what's been going on in my life. How about the things I've learned from it?

• God always provides what you need, when you need it. I didn't say what you want when you want it, or what you need when you want it. He just provides what you need when you need it.
• When you graduate with a major in something that can lead to an excellently paying job, you'll get a lot of pressure to obtain a job in that field. But God has been consistently leading me away from such jobs and towards other ones. This may be inexplicable to others, but God knows best, and I'm beginning to see that.

Matthew 6:26-27

Jeremiah 29:11

Pray for me that:

• I'll rest in God instead of money or financial contentment.
• That God will provide something I've been wanting for a long time.
• Another job to fill my free time, or more hours at my current jobs.
• I'll be able to have enough extra money for some fun road trips this fall (that's a want!).

Getting Real

You'll get the bird. Keep reading.

I haven't posted a blog post in a while, but I suppose it's time to throw some stuff out there. Let's be real, the side I present on Facebook isn't the full details of my life. It's mostly the fun stuff; a more ideal portrait of my life. Don't tell me you haven't done it too. We all have junk in our lives, but we choose to share just the good parts of life with our friends, sharing the crap with no one or if we're lucky, with our close friends. I'm not down with that anymore. It's time for full disclosure. No more hiding behind the veil of Facebook. I'm gonna put some stuff out there.

First off, I have a Mechanical Engineering degree. And I'm living paycheck to paycheck. That whole "Engineers are in high demand," shtick is a load of BS. I had two jobs, one at Disneyland which I love, (still do, as I still have that one) and a teaching job which I felt I should have loved but didn't. Anyways, the teaching job, which was the bulk of my income, is gone. School went under, nothing was my fault, but still, I'm down one job. And I'm job hunting again. No one knows my history with job hunting, but I have spent so much of my life doing it, I absolutely abhor it. I've spent four entire summers of my life job hunting as well as various other periods. I HATE it with every fiber of my being. Yet God has me here again. Really, God?

Second, I live in my car. Have for a month. I engineered it a bit better, and it was supposed to be a short term thing, but it's gotten a bit longer. I'm hoping to move in with a friend in about a week, but until then, here I am. Living in your car is not that bad...at first. Then it gets worse...and worse...and soon you want out. Then you lose a job, and it's back to the car...

Anyways, those are the two things I wasn't sharing with all of Facebook. Now I don't care. Also, don't give me the "Poor Nate..." lines. I don't need your pity. God has surprisingly given me a large enough measure of contentment for where I'm at. And He continues to provide what I need. He always will. So, here I am, in a situation that the world, and probably you, find pretty terrible. But I'm okay. I'm content. Am I entirely thrilled about the situation? No. Do I sometimes put on a face that says I'm happier than I really am? Yes. But am I content; am I okay? Yes. I'll make it. And I thank God every day for his contentment and peace, and pray for a larger measure of both.

One last thing: Don't judge me for this and think I'm a loser, a slacker, lazy, etc. I can assure you, I'm none of the above. Me and God just had a chat a while ago, and we both agreed I didn't want a normal life, cubicle job, 2.5 kids and a house in the suburbs. I wanted, and still want an adventure! God said okay, and little did I know what that entailed. Just know, as hard as this gets, and as crappy as it may be sometimes, I'd rather be living this life than the "American Dream."

Matthew 6:26-27 "Look at the birds of the air. They do not sow or reap or stow away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you, by worrying, can add a single hour to his life?"

Next Up in My Life - A Story of God's Provision

Well, my life has shifted around a bit in the last month. One month ago I was living with my parents, had no job, and had less than $100 in my bank account. Today, I'm living out on my own, I have two jobs, and let's just say I'm blessed. :) This is a story of God's provision.

August 31, 2012 - I have no way of paying my September rent. Unless I get a job I'm going to be living with my parents. Today is the last day I have in SoCal to wait for a call. Then, at 5 pm, I get a call for a screening for a medical study. Doesn't seem likely that I'll get it, but I figure I'll go for it anyways. Then, at 10 pm, I get a call offering me a job as well as free room and board. But at this point, I need to go move in with my parents anyways to figure stuff out.

From that point until now, a few things have happened.

• I got the medical study. This meant a few weeks in confinement, but a HUGE replenishment to my bank account. Thanks God!
• I accepted the job and the free room and board. Thanks God!
• I interviewed for another job, one working at Disney, and was offered the job ( I took it!)

Now here I am. I have one job teaching kids at a school in Palm Desert, another job working as a Cast Member at Disneyland on the weekends, and a full bank account. Earlier this summer, I was expecting to get a well-paying job that I may not have liked all that much. Now, God has given me two awesome jobs as well as plenty of money. I spent the whole summer working on finding the job that I thought was right for me, but little did I know that God had other, much better plans. Seriously, my life is awesome! God always comes through, even if it's at the last possible second. (Ten pm on the last day before I moved out after 8 months of job hunting was pretty last minute!) Trust God, because He sure knows what's best for you even better than you think you do!

God's in the Small Stuff

Sometimes one just must share about something God has done, insignificant though it may seem. A couple weeks ago, my car's coolant light came on. As I don't have a job yet, I couldn't afford to get it checked out, so I spent the last few weeks with the windows down and the heater blasting to keep her from overheating. Not the greatest, but she got me where I needed to be. Then this afternoon, I had a job interview. I knew that if I did the usual windows down, heat on routine in my suit, I would be a sweaty potato by the time I got there. Sweaty potatoes don't get jobs. So I asked God to help me get there and stay cool.

Now a couple days before, the coolant light had turned off. But the problems behind the symptom continued to happen, so I figured it still needed fixing. But today I got in the car, turned on the AC full blast, shut the windows, and prayed that I'd be fine. And I was. The car didn't overheat. I got to the interview plenty cool, and I think it went well. Dunno how God did it, but He fixed her, at least temporarily. Thanks God. Now...about that job that I need... :P

Eureka! (I've Found It!)

I need to share something with you. I've found the greatest gift of my life. The one thing that I can rely on, the one thing that can keep me going. At the risk of sounding cliche, that one thing is Jesus. I'm sure you've all heard stories of how people have found Jesus. Maybe you've had your own experience; maybe you even made the emotional walk to the front of the church in front of all your friends. Maybe you've been there many times.

But I want to let you know that finding God is not just an amazing one day experience. It's more like finding a treasure chest that's filled with new gifts every time you open it. If you stop pursuing God once you've found Him, you will be missing out on SO many gifts that God has ready to pour into your life. The Christian life should be a constant pursuit of God, His presence and His glory. It can be challenging to pursue God. It takes time and it takes work. It takes commitment and dedication. Just like learning an instrument, you have to dedicate time to the things you value the most. And this isn't to say I've figured this out. But I have noticed that the more I pursue Him, the more I want to. The closer I get, the faster I run toward Him. And the more the things of this world fade away. A few years ago, I had many things that were more valuable to me than God. But my relationship with Jesus has grown to be the most important thing in my life, and I can now say that I am sincerely willing to give up anything I have, whether it be possessions, relationships, or even location for God. It's ridiculous how far I have come and how far I have to go. And I look on the future in fond anticipation, knowing that every time I am growing closer to my Savior is a time that I will forever savor.

Knowing all this, how can I sit and enjoy God by myself? How can I sit in His presence and marvel at His goodness without sharing it with the world? I haven't nailed this sharing my faith thing yet. I have work to do. But I want to be on the right path; I want to tell the world the hope that I found. I want to tell them that not only is there more than what the world sees, there's more than what much of the church sees. I want to share that!

If God is not the one thing you rely on, your one true love, you're missing out! Pray and work toward having that relationship. I could never go back to my previous 'normal' Christian life. Feel free to ask me about any of this, I'd be more than happy to share!