Getting Real

You'll get the bird. Keep reading.

I haven't posted a blog post in a while, but I suppose it's time to throw some stuff out there. Let's be real, the side I present on Facebook isn't the full details of my life. It's mostly the fun stuff; a more ideal portrait of my life. Don't tell me you haven't done it too. We all have junk in our lives, but we choose to share just the good parts of life with our friends, sharing the crap with no one or if we're lucky, with our close friends. I'm not down with that anymore. It's time for full disclosure. No more hiding behind the veil of Facebook. I'm gonna put some stuff out there.

First off, I have a Mechanical Engineering degree. And I'm living paycheck to paycheck. That whole "Engineers are in high demand," shtick is a load of BS. I had two jobs, one at Disneyland which I love, (still do, as I still have that one) and a teaching job which I felt I should have loved but didn't. Anyways, the teaching job, which was the bulk of my income, is gone. School went under, nothing was my fault, but still, I'm down one job. And I'm job hunting again. No one knows my history with job hunting, but I have spent so much of my life doing it, I absolutely abhor it. I've spent four entire summers of my life job hunting as well as various other periods. I HATE it with every fiber of my being. Yet God has me here again. Really, God?

Second, I live in my car. Have for a month. I engineered it a bit better, and it was supposed to be a short term thing, but it's gotten a bit longer. I'm hoping to move in with a friend in about a week, but until then, here I am. Living in your car is not that bad...at first. Then it gets worse...and worse...and soon you want out. Then you lose a job, and it's back to the car...

Anyways, those are the two things I wasn't sharing with all of Facebook. Now I don't care. Also, don't give me the "Poor Nate..." lines. I don't need your pity. God has surprisingly given me a large enough measure of contentment for where I'm at. And He continues to provide what I need. He always will. So, here I am, in a situation that the world, and probably you, find pretty terrible. But I'm okay. I'm content. Am I entirely thrilled about the situation? No. Do I sometimes put on a face that says I'm happier than I really am? Yes. But am I content; am I okay? Yes. I'll make it. And I thank God every day for his contentment and peace, and pray for a larger measure of both.

One last thing: Don't judge me for this and think I'm a loser, a slacker, lazy, etc. I can assure you, I'm none of the above. Me and God just had a chat a while ago, and we both agreed I didn't want a normal life, cubicle job, 2.5 kids and a house in the suburbs. I wanted, and still want an adventure! God said okay, and little did I know what that entailed. Just know, as hard as this gets, and as crappy as it may be sometimes, I'd rather be living this life than the "American Dream."

Matthew 6:26-27 "Look at the birds of the air. They do not sow or reap or stow away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you, by worrying, can add a single hour to his life?"

Next Up in My Life - A Story of God's Provision

Well, my life has shifted around a bit in the last month. One month ago I was living with my parents, had no job, and had less than $100 in my bank account. Today, I'm living out on my own, I have two jobs, and let's just say I'm blessed. :) This is a story of God's provision.

August 31, 2012 - I have no way of paying my September rent. Unless I get a job I'm going to be living with my parents. Today is the last day I have in SoCal to wait for a call. Then, at 5 pm, I get a call for a screening for a medical study. Doesn't seem likely that I'll get it, but I figure I'll go for it anyways. Then, at 10 pm, I get a call offering me a job as well as free room and board. But at this point, I need to go move in with my parents anyways to figure stuff out.

From that point until now, a few things have happened.

• I got the medical study. This meant a few weeks in confinement, but a HUGE replenishment to my bank account. Thanks God!
• I accepted the job and the free room and board. Thanks God!
• I interviewed for another job, one working at Disney, and was offered the job ( I took it!)

Now here I am. I have one job teaching kids at a school in Palm Desert, another job working as a Cast Member at Disneyland on the weekends, and a full bank account. Earlier this summer, I was expecting to get a well-paying job that I may not have liked all that much. Now, God has given me two awesome jobs as well as plenty of money. I spent the whole summer working on finding the job that I thought was right for me, but little did I know that God had other, much better plans. Seriously, my life is awesome! God always comes through, even if it's at the last possible second. (Ten pm on the last day before I moved out after 8 months of job hunting was pretty last minute!) Trust God, because He sure knows what's best for you even better than you think you do!

God's in the Small Stuff

Sometimes one just must share about something God has done, insignificant though it may seem. A couple weeks ago, my car's coolant light came on. As I don't have a job yet, I couldn't afford to get it checked out, so I spent the last few weeks with the windows down and the heater blasting to keep her from overheating. Not the greatest, but she got me where I needed to be. Then this afternoon, I had a job interview. I knew that if I did the usual windows down, heat on routine in my suit, I would be a sweaty potato by the time I got there. Sweaty potatoes don't get jobs. So I asked God to help me get there and stay cool.

Now a couple days before, the coolant light had turned off. But the problems behind the symptom continued to happen, so I figured it still needed fixing. But today I got in the car, turned on the AC full blast, shut the windows, and prayed that I'd be fine. And I was. The car didn't overheat. I got to the interview plenty cool, and I think it went well. Dunno how God did it, but He fixed her, at least temporarily. Thanks God. Now...about that job that I need... :P

Eureka! (I've Found It!)

I need to share something with you. I've found the greatest gift of my life. The one thing that I can rely on, the one thing that can keep me going. At the risk of sounding cliche, that one thing is Jesus. I'm sure you've all heard stories of how people have found Jesus. Maybe you've had your own experience; maybe you even made the emotional walk to the front of the church in front of all your friends. Maybe you've been there many times.

But I want to let you know that finding God is not just an amazing one day experience. It's more like finding a treasure chest that's filled with new gifts every time you open it. If you stop pursuing God once you've found Him, you will be missing out on SO many gifts that God has ready to pour into your life. The Christian life should be a constant pursuit of God, His presence and His glory. It can be challenging to pursue God. It takes time and it takes work. It takes commitment and dedication. Just like learning an instrument, you have to dedicate time to the things you value the most. And this isn't to say I've figured this out. But I have noticed that the more I pursue Him, the more I want to. The closer I get, the faster I run toward Him. And the more the things of this world fade away. A few years ago, I had many things that were more valuable to me than God. But my relationship with Jesus has grown to be the most important thing in my life, and I can now say that I am sincerely willing to give up anything I have, whether it be possessions, relationships, or even location for God. It's ridiculous how far I have come and how far I have to go. And I look on the future in fond anticipation, knowing that every time I am growing closer to my Savior is a time that I will forever savor.

Knowing all this, how can I sit and enjoy God by myself? How can I sit in His presence and marvel at His goodness without sharing it with the world? I haven't nailed this sharing my faith thing yet. I have work to do. But I want to be on the right path; I want to tell the world the hope that I found. I want to tell them that not only is there more than what the world sees, there's more than what much of the church sees. I want to share that!

If God is not the one thing you rely on, your one true love, you're missing out! Pray and work toward having that relationship. I could never go back to my previous 'normal' Christian life. Feel free to ask me about any of this, I'd be more than happy to share!

A Christian Perspective on Drinking

We have all formed our own judgments and conclusions on this topic. I've had my preconceived notions for years. But now that I have tried quite a few types of alcohol at a good share of crazy parties, I feel that I'm actually qualified to write this and share what I've learned. I'm first going to share what the Bible says and then expand on that with my personal views.

Biblically, drinking is acceptable. Jesus drank wine many times on various occasions. Sure, it wasn't as strong as today's wine, but regardless, he drank wine. Now, there have been debates on this and some say that the wine referred to there was actually grape juice, etc. I'm not a Greek or Hebrew scholar, but the conclusion I've come to is that alcohol, in and of itself, is not a bad thing, nor is it a sin to drink it. However, in Ephesians 5:18, the Bible does tell us not to become intoxicated. That much is clear, and there are many examples in the Bible (and in real life!) of when drinking too much has been a very bad thing. So, to sum up the Biblical perspective as I have come to understand it, drinking is OK. Drinking to excess is not.

Now this brings me to how to apply this knowledge. Should I feel free to drink as much as I want, provided that I don't get drunk? Is being buzzed OK? Let me note that this is the part that is not based solely on the Bible, but on what I've put together. I want to start with a pros and cons list of drinking.

Pros of Drinking:

• Having a buzz can be a lot of fun. It makes everything funny, and just makes everything looser and more free.
• It's much easier to fit in with a crowd where everyone is drinking when you are, in fact, drinking.

Cons of Drinking:

• If you pass that line, you're going to have a terrible night/morning, and if you go REALLY far, you might die.
• You can't drive. OK, you can, and most do, but you shouldn't.
• Alcohol doesn't taste good. I know, you're going to tell me it's an acquired taste. But really, the guy who took bath salts and went rogue zombie in Miami acquired a taste for human flesh, and no one's fighting and saying that human flesh tastes good! You can acquire a taste for anything, but in reality, alcohol's not that good.
• You have to keep pictures off of Facebook and guard one side of your life from others you don't want to know about it. (Or do you email your Aunt Edna pictures of the latest keg stand?)
• You could be arrested. Because wherever there's alcohol, there's people under 21 who want to drink it, and do drink it. And if you're over 21 and at that party where the underage are drinking, you can get busted for it. On the other hand, if you're under 21, you already know you can get busted.
• Some Christians will judge you for drinking at all, even if that view isn't biblical. And if you're a Christian, the Bible explicitly instructs you not to lead your brother astray.

In my opinion, the cons greatly outweigh the pros. Maybe you don't think so. I'm going to present two more points that I've come to. 

Firstly, most drinking is done at parties. If you've ever been to one of these parties sober, you know that the alcohol is really the thing that makes it fun; the party itself isn't great. Beer pong is really not an exciting sport, hence why I don't have a favorite beer pong team that I watch on TV. If the party runs out of alcohol, the party is over. Alcohol shouldn't be necessary to have fun; I know how to have tons of fun without it! All I see at these parties are people trying to fill their lives with something where they have nothing. And when I go to these parties, the fact that I have that something stands out to me. I have this thing, this amazing peace, fulfillment and happiness in Christ, that the crowd is fulfilling with alcohol. But how will they begin to see what I have if I'm drinking alcohol as well? Sure, I can be cool and take down quite a few shots, doing crazy stuff like the rest of them. But if I act the exact same way the world does, I'm not really spreading the message that I have Christ. Sure, if I tell them I'm a Christian, I'm giving off the 'Christians are cool too!' vibe. But that's not the vibe I want to give off. I'm looking for the 'Christ is cool!' vibe. Alcohol doesn't make me stand out as a servant of Christ.

The other conclusion that I came to comes from 1 Corinthians 10:23: "Everything is permissible--but not everything is beneficial." This verse is talking about our freedom in Christ. In regards to alcohol, I believe that it's saying drinking is OK. Christians can drink. But we need to form our own conclusions about whether it's beneficial. I've laid out the evidence that has led to my decision, but you must make your own. My life goal is to bring glory to God, and I don't see how me drinking brings glory to Him in most situations. So I'm going to apply it to my life by not drinking anymore. Now, I'm not going to make an ironclad agreement where I say that I will never drink again. I may have a glass of champagne to celebrate a birthday for a friend. But pointless drinking to fill a void in my soul? I don't need it; I don't have a void in my soul! I have Christ, and that's what I'm living for.

My Life As a Small-time Celebrity

All of us have wondered what it's like to be famous at one point in our life. I'm here to tell you my (short-term) experience with it in a brief expose.

Place: Spirit West Coast Christian Music Festival, May 2012
Goal: Become a local celebrity at the festival.
ACHIEVEMENT REACHED!

I decided to dress up as Waldo just for fun. As Nate, I was a friendly, somewhat crazy guy. As Waldo, I was a fun, somewhat crazy guy who everyone knew! Everyone talked about me in low voices as I passed. People stopped me and gave me hugs. I heard the joyful exclamation, "I found you!" countless times, and took more pictures with people than I can count! I ended up in the middle of a Family Force 5 mosh pit, and was apparently all over the screens. It was a blast, and I was a celebrity for a day. I couldn't go anywhere without being noticed!

Let me let you in real quick on my motivation for doing this. I do crazy and strange stuff sometimes just to make people smile. Humans laugh and smile at things that are out of the ordinary, so I do things that are unexpected, things that no one does. I have no issue whatsoever with being the center of attention, to be honest, I love it. But I mostly do these things just to make people's lives that much more joyful.

Lessons were learned though. Fame is fun for a day, but by the end of the day, it gets tiring. You can only hear your name whispered behind your back so many times before you want to change your name. (Maybe that explains Meta World Peace? Nah...) Waldo was the perfect way to learn the price of fame. I can be famous or not simply by putting on or taking off a costume. It was great, I could choose when to be me and when to be Waldo. But consider before you get famous...do you really want to have all that pressure all the time? Could you handle it?

Running Through My Mind

This will be a bit of a venting and processing my thoughts blog...If you want a look inside of my brain and me getting real, here it is. I just need to get some of this stuff out of my head.

I've really been struggling lately with my future and what it will contain. As you probably know, I just graduated with a degree in Mechanical Engineering. Now, it's time for the next step. Well, the next step is to find a job in engineering right? Start out low and work your way up! Engineers make bank, so I picked a great major for my future, or so everyone around me tells me. But I don't know if I'm buying it.

Let's rewind. My three college summers have taught me a lot. The first two I spent as a camp counselor at Ponderosa Pines Christian Camp. Amazing camp, and best summers of my life. I LOVED meeting people, forming relationships, and being on the move 24/7. I thrived there. The next summer, or the summer before this one, I found an engineering internship in Sacramento. I needed to do it to gain experience, so I searched really hard, got hired, and did an internship. And boy, did I learn a lot!

That summer was one of the hardest of my life. Now, the company I was working at was great. Great people, great pay, great location, awesome bike ride to work every day (15 miles each way, stayed in shape!), and a good amount of variety. So why was it the hardest summer of my life? Simply this: I didn't feel like it was for me. The previous two summers, I was in my element. I felt ALIVE as a camp counselor, I was doing something I was passionate about and loved! But this last summer...I wasn't. I was trapped in a cubicle in an office building doing things I really didn't find myself very interested in. I still did my best and completed every assignment with excellence and a good attitude, so I did good on that count. But I was left with a permanent impression that engineering wasn't for me.

So all throughout this past year, I've told myself I'm wrong. I was already three years in, and there was no chance that I was going to change my major at that point. I knew that if I had done a major like communications, I would have very little in the way of job opportunities and I wouldn't have been challenged at all. (Side note: Engineering didn't challenge me that much. I don't want to brag...but others found it difficult. I would have been so bored with a 'normal' major.) I do still enjoy building and designing things, and my dream job is still to design theme park rides for Disney. But now I know who I am, and that I LOVE people and want to be around people 24/7. The cubicle life killed me last summer, (I literally counted down the weeks and days until I was done) and I never want to do that again.

But now I'm searching for a job. I've been searching for an engineering job because that's what everyone says I should be looking for. But all the passion, the drive, the enthusiasm, is manufactured for the sole purpose of obtaining the job. I've seen other people working jobs I would love, jobs that are 'low' jobs. Secretaries, servers at restaurants: I'm told I'm 'above' these jobs, and that they are fallbacks in case I cannot find a great-paying engineering job. But they interact with people all the time...and (most) engineers don't.

So I find myself at a crossroads. Option 1 is to continue applying for engineering jobs, and when I get one, work hard at it, fighting my personality and who God made me to be the whole way, holding out for the chance that God has a perfect engineering job for me somewhere along the line, and I need to endure through jobs I don't enjoy to get there. Or I could look for other jobs. But where else? Where do I start? Where do I fit? I have defined myself, or at least the career-oriented part of myself, as an engineer. If I don't have that, where do I start looking for jobs?

God, where do I go? What do I do? I seek your will for my life, and I want to make the right choice, but I don't know where to turn! I'll take a difficult job if it's your will God; I realize the road won't always be easy, and I'm willing to do another difficult job. But I will never be as at home behind a desk as I will in a Jr. Hi cabin, never as enthusiastic in a cubicle as I will in a crowd. I pray right now that you lead and guide me to the proper job, preferably something that pays well, but if not, something that pays poorly. Money is no object, and when I say that, I mean that I know You will provide me all I need, God, so there's no need to worry. Please lead me, Lord.